Dear Creative Soul Sister,
What a time we are living in. Although its intense and scary, it is a privilege to be alive at such a momentous time of change, dissolving of old paradigms and being part of shaping and birthing our new collective reality.
I’m sure, like you, I've been listening, learning and opening my heart to see with eyes wide open my part in perpetuating white supremacy and racist constructs that oppress BIPOC. This work is uncomfortable but so necessary.
I feel like a beginner to this work. Even though I have stood up to racism throughout my life, when I've come into direct contact with it, doing the inner work to uncover my covert part in perpetuating white supremacy is new to me. Part of what I've found so challenging was feeling overwhelming shame at being white. Initially, I felt angry. I felt like a finger was being pointed at me and I was being scolded for being white and the cause of BIPOC’s suffering, but with the help of Dr Ibram X. Kendi’s words in his conversation with Brene Brown, I learned that I am not being asked to feel ashamed for being white. However, it is inevitable that I will feel shame as I do the work of unpacking white supremacy and my part in perpetuating the status quo. In other words, it's ok to be white, but it’s important to recognise the innate privilege this affords me and the impact of this on BIPOC and be willing, to be honest about my thoughts, beliefs and actions relating to this. There is so much good information in this 'Unlocking Us' podcast and so much compassion and love in its delivery. I highly recommend you check it out if you haven’t already.
Whilst attending to this important work, I am conscious of listening in deeply to myself and what my body, mind and soul need to stay well. I went through a few days where I was overwhelmed and feeling defeated, lost and ashamed. I ignored my inner guidance and my truth. I looked to outside people to tell me what to think, do and say and what it meant about me if I didn’t follow their guidance. This sent me into a spin, resulting in so much confusion and pain.
I am open to being guided and learning from people who are more knowledgeable than me but having spent much of my life shutting down my inner knowing, I know how painful and damaging this is, so I will not abandon myself in this. I will listen and learn, but I will run everything I am taking in through my own internal system of knowing and will decide what to absorb and integrate and what to allow to flow away.
I am consciously returning to my self-care practices to look after myself through this period of change and upheaval and have decided that:
It's ok for me to prioritise creative spiritual practice like writing morning pages, breathing hand on heart, visualisation, meditation and art, that ground me and bring me into a state of presence and listening to my intuition. (See below for what's really grabbing me right now).
It's ok to walk in nature and allow her to soothe my mind and remind me that all is well and this too shall pass.
It's ok to switch off my phone and read a book or listen to music or rest or whatever.
It's ok to be gentle with myself and compassionate as I learn.
It's ok to be silly and have fun.
It's ok to find solace and support in making spontaneous, process-oriented art.
It's ok to be me.
It’s all ok.
This is a challenging time that is demanding us to step up and unite. I am willing and I trust that if you are a kindred spirit you are just as willing to do this deep, hard work for the greater good of all too.
I trust me. I trust you. I trust the universe to guide us lovingly through this,
All is well. May we all be well,
Lots of love and light,
I've been making a quick intuitive collage every morning for the last five weeks. It has quickly become part of my routine that I look forward to and get so much out of. I find it so nourishing to be in conversation with my inner child, inner wise woman and all the parts of myself that make up my whole being. Wisdom comes through noticing repeated choices of similar images, colours, placement and patterns. Over time I am seeing and hearing myself more clearly. You can see my collages in my story highlights here and here.
I've also discovered how to make time-lapse videos on my phone (yay!! I'm so not a techie!), so I've been recording the process of creating my small art journal pages that have been really engaging me lately. I'm loving making spontaneous, raw art in a fast, automatic way to get my head out of the way and let the serendipity of chance create the art for me. The more I can remove my head from the process, the more its grabbing me. Here's an example of one of these little videos. If you have a look at my Instagram grid and IGTV you'll see a few more videos there.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change,
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.