Are you really scared or is that just conditioning?

Dear Creative Soul Sister,

 

Woo! What a week it’s been. I’m going to do my best to infuse this blog with all the heart opening, compassionate witnessing, risk taking bravery and all out sisterhood I’ve been so fortunate to experience over the last week.

Here goes!

As you may remember from my email last week, I was off to Burning Woman Festival with a dear friend and my daughter. Well, we went and what an experience it was.

We drummed, sang, chanted, danced, fire walked (more about this in a moment), held space, deep dived, laughed, cried, got super witchy and so much more. I will definitely be back for more next year and highly recommend it to all of you UK sisters who fancy a weekend of sisterhood in a beautiful place (incidentally where they filmed Teletubbies – which I was ridiculously excited to discover!).

The main event was the fire walking on Saturday night. All along, my sixteen year old daughter said she didn’t want to do it. At the last minute she changed her mind and we held hands and walked over the 756 degrees Celsius coals together. I was so proud of her (and me).

I’ve been on a mission to model for my daughter being authentic and true to myself. She’s a Scorpio who loves to delve into the underworld of shadow, taboo and truths. She constantly calls me out if I veer off into safety and conditioned auto-pilot, so I feel extra pressure (in a good way) to be as true as possible in each moment. In fact, she is a wonderful model of authenticity to me too.

I realised leading up to the fire walk, when I really tapped into how I felt, I was very calm about doing it. I booked to do the walk over a year ago and noticed when I spoke about it with people in the lead up, I automatically brought an energy of fearful anticipation to it, but in reality this was not my truth. This was a conditioned response – giving people what I felt was expected.

It was a revelation for me to go deeper than this surface energy, to tap into my bone deep truth, which was of rock solid calmness and trust.

This made me wonder how many other times in my life do I play out a conditioned response and pattern of behaving instead of truly tapping into how I REALLY feel.

How does this land with you?

Do you notice times where you are ‘pretending’ or acting out old patterns that no longer are the truth of who you are?

I wonder what might happen for you next time you notice this and allow yourself to act from that deep place of knowing inside your body.

I’d love to hear your experience of trying this,

Bec x

Email: hello@creativecovenarts.co.uk
Telephone: 07367 964679
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